aladdinscastle asked: ahh if you followed me that'd be like a dream. us persians are pretty amazing. and you're hilarious btw ;*

Thanks for the follow! Much appreciated! New to Tumblr, still trying to figure it out! 

My diploma from Wharton arrived today. It cost me over $200k to get it and Penn shipped it via United Postal Service for $1.61who left it unattended at my door.  

Boys - if u want me to engage in your meaningless conversation, laugh at your lame jokes, or entertain your forward advances you need to buy me drinks. Everything has a price.

“I think that guy just farted on my head!”

“don’t hate me because I’m ambitious, hate me because I succeed.”

“You did really well in the interview. But then again you are a performer and this is not a performance.” 

Girl: “i feel like i should give money…for my children at least…” 

me: “i think you should wait until u have children and make sure they are even smart enough to consider college.”

“Omg are you wearing nail polish? My little tomboy is becoming a woman!”  

Saw a bunch of ppl holding umbrellas so I thought it was raining. After coming outisde in rain gear I realized it was an asian tour group

Interesting convo with the concierge of a friend’s place in philly…makes me wonder what my concierge says about me behind my back….